THE AWAKENING

its always after a long time i feel like writing again. but, this time i was wondering if i should really leave alone this blog and start a new one being this the new year and all and also considering the fact that i had almost given myself into believing that i had lived one part of my life which i will never smudge into. soon enough i realize that you never live life in parts and even if you chose to look at it that way, you're just shutting your eyes. the life you have lived never disappears.

And i am not saying this because i choose to exist in the past or am haunted by it or something. but things really never go away. the situations, similar situations keep coming back to you or right in to you and if you're eyes are shut, trust me you will occur in the very same way you once did.

hence, wise enough would be to be present to your own past and try to see what you did that didn't work for you. it helps.

so i have decided to stick to this one for the rest of my life. also, here's something that i want to take up. i know that i really don't feel right these days. at all. but i would go back to the happy-go-lucky-me. i sooo miss me. i really do. and all the crazy things i have done. i want to do them again. and many more. i wont let my life become any boring. and i give up worrying at this moment. cautious or not cautious....i landed up here. love, heart break, loneliness, friends, workload, happiness, tears, boredom, bosses..amidst all this i won't just survive..i'll LIVE!!

tangled state of mind

feels like the sand is slipping out of my hands. I am just still doing nothing and still i feel that I always end up hurting the people I love. I don't understand what they expect of me and why. For how long will they see me for the choices i have made in the past. Why can't they just see me for who I am and why I do certain things. I just want to run and hide in your arms and sleep forever and spare myself all these judgments. sometimes, just surviving becomes such a big deal for me that i just wanna give myself up. I know ill never be good enough. but i just don't want to cause so much hurt.

Existence

the silence gets to my DNA

and therefore, sometimes,

the voice of my own breath

is a relief enough to know

that m still alive.

peace

too much sunshine.

pleasant breeze.

cool.

but you can feel the warmth.

a humming tune.

coming and going of the waves.

far far away.

still that overwhelming silence.

clear sky.

white sand.

absorbing. every bit.

Jo Bhi Main kehna Chahun.. Barbaad karein Alfaaz Mere

what it tales to feel alive again

sometimes you sit alone, crying and wondering why did this happening to you. and then you cant stop smiling and wonder why is it happening to you!

Turn Away...'coz I need You More

ligament fucked. head feels like some elephants are pounding inside it. but this Diwali was one of the very few good ones I've had. Yes, family wasn't around but the latter half of the day, it was just like everyone was home! There is so much to write about every single detail but some details are better in-scripted just in your mind.

If at all there is a time in anyone's life, where they wish they could go back into the past, relive it all because they didn't know back then that it will be soon gone, it was today for me. I know GOD has always been kind and I honestly thank him a lot for THIS.

but, Attachments bring more pain with them. I have always, Always believed that nothing happens without a reason. and i don't know the reason. and i am definitely not strong enough to wait for it to be out in the open.

Why should there be a choice to not endure the pain that has been caused and live anew?

with new freedom, come new Risks.

Better to be in your cocoon and lie comfortably in the darkness. The flash of hope is bound to hurt the pupil of your eyes.